Part 2: The Story of the Modern Son of Man
The Fool Leaves His Family and Friends In 1974
In 1974 he left his job and his family and friends, and set out on a spiritual pilgrimage. He went to Mexico for awhile, where he learned a hard lesson and became very ill and had a very profound vision. It was like a cloudy black and white movie showing the construction site of a big wooden ship. The keel had been laid and there were many ribs in place, and many people were busy in the building process. But he didn’t understand what it meant until many years later.
After recovering from his illness he left Mexico and went back to his home town, living in his old VW van until he found a job with a fisher of crawfish who was a friend of his father. He got to stay on a small, one room houseboat on a slough, a tributary off the main river, just above the delta. And then he thought he found his true love, a beautiful younger woman with very beautiful, soulful eyes.
In 1975, after a long fast and having another miraculous (but much lesser) spiritual experience, he foolishly developed a misguided messianic complex and assumed that God had called him to be a great leader. So, at age thirty-four, he briefly tried to become the most powerful political leader in the world (president of the U.S.) It was of course a silly idea, and actually a big mistake, but his head was still in the clouds, and he actually took a little action.
He didn't make much effort, though. He put some posters up and managed to appear on the television news in his home town to announce his candidacy, but then lost interest. Instead he went off on a long river trip in his rowboat with his dog, going fishing on the main river and its tributaries, as he made his way down to the delta and bay, fishing for striped bass, catfish and perch on the way. Then his young lover joined him and they went further up the coast to visit his older brother. Then, after about a week, she went back to her parent's home, and he went to camp on another river in a little shanty houseboat made of driftwood and small logs.
Then his mother died in late 1975, but he didn’t grieve. He knew where she had gone, so he just went back to camp on the river until he again thought he should follow through on his quest to become a leader of his nation. So, he hitchhiked with his little dog and his guitar across the country to New Hampshire without a dime in his pocket, trusting in God and the goodness of people.
He set out with his dog, and with a nice backpack containing necessities, a sleeping bag, and a guitar. And when he can to the first large city away from his home town, he was picked up by some young people in a car. As they were driving, one of them passed around a joint to smoke, and he took a hit. Within a few seconds he realized that the joint contained more than Marijuana, and was probably laced with a hallucinogen. He began to to feel strange, and then he felt like something was pressing down hard upon his neck, forcing his head down.
Many years later he understood that this was like a "yoke" being put upon him, as he was unwittingly and symbolically taking the weight of the world upon him. But at the time he didn't think much about it, and he certainly didn't think of it that way. He just thought it was a strange and uncomfortable feeling. And when the car arrived at a point where he realized that some friends of his lived close by in that city, he asked to be dropped off. The driver pulled over and he got out of the car. But when he asked the driver to open the trunk so he could get his backpack and guitar, the driver said that maybe they ought to keep them. So rather than react negatively, and without thinking, he said: "Whatever I have is yours." And that so impressed the driver and his friends that they opened the trunk so he could get his things, and they wished him a good and safe journey.
During that trip across the country from the West coast to New Hampshire, he learned about the kind of people who are willing to share what they have with strangers, and about the kind of people who looked down upon him.
When he got to New Hampshire, he appeared in a Unitarian Universalist church to sing a song (Kings and Castles, by Shawn Phillips). But that was it. For some reason he didn't pursue it any further. And of course, no one took him seriously (and his friends and family at home thought he was absolutely beside himself and crazy).
He then hopped a freight train to travel back across the country and return to his home town. But then he set out again as a homeless ascetic. He just began wandering rather aimlessly on foot, hitchhiking, hiking and camping, sometimes for awhile alongside rivers near the coast or in the valley.
He had left his young lover again because for some reason he felt no attachment to anything or anyone. He was attached only to God. His head was still in the clouds. He had not yet realized the error of desiring sovereign political power, and he still did not know why God called him. And even though he loved his young lover, he was simply blind to how he was hurting another woman by leaving her.
He just went off again, wandering. Along the way he stayed for awhile with a couple of different women who took him in. He went a lot of different places and did a lot of different things. He even worked a number of times as a migrant worker in orchards and tree farms, when he needed to buy something he needed.
He learned a lot during those years of traveling on foot. For example, he learned much about people, many different kinds of people, many of whom he would otherwise never have gotten to know -- people you run into when you are on the street or on the road on foot in the country and in the city. And he learned that the poor, who have the least, are the most willing to share what they have with strangers.
(Note: These days in America a person cannot do what he did. Remember, this was in the mid-1970s when one could safely hitchhike in America, and catch a ride easily. It was was before California Governor Ronald Reagan started the trend of "releasing" the mentally ill from state hospitals and turning them out on the street if they were diagnosed as "not harmful to society." Therefore it was before other states followed Reagan's lead, before many mentally ill people were put out on the street all across the nation, and before hitchhikers in America were regarded with contempt and suspicion.)
Then, in mid-1976 he grew weary and tired of wandering and being homeless, and he was grieving for his mother even though he didn’t realize it. And he was just forlorn enough that he did something that seemed like a good idea at the time, but that led to his breaking a legal contract.
See, not only was he lost and forlorn, and didn't know what to do. By that time his family thought he was totally beside himself and was a foolish dreamer and a "quitter." So, in an attempt to please his family, and mainly to please his father who had been in the Navy, he joined the Navy. As he has written, he also probably figured it was a sure way to be on or near the water, have an income and a secure place to live, and also have the camaraderie of other people in the service. He also figured that with Jimmy Carter as a president who took seriously the Christian directive to love your enemy, America probably would not go to war.
Then his father died in late 1976, less than a year after his mother died, and again he did not grieve (or did not think he was grieving), because he knew were his mother and father had gone. And during the time he was on leave to attend his father's funeral, he walked out on the Navy and he continued his wandering in the wilderness, both literally and figuratively, until he suddenly was unable to walk any more.
The First Time Stricken and Afflicted in 1977
In July 1977, while he was camping by the main river in a large valley, he was stricken and afflicted with a disabling disease that left him unable to stand or walk, or even crawl. And if two fishermen hadn’t found him, he may have died.
He was hospitalized for five months, and confined to a wheelchair. But again he didn’t grieve. It seemed he was not fazed at all, even though he could no longer stand or walk. Even after three major tragedies in his life within two years, and after being stricken so hard and afflicted so severely, he still had his head in the clouds (and it took about seven more years for him to really become a somewhat normal human being, mentally, and longer than that for him to really come back "down to earth").
When he got out of the hospital in December of 1977 he was given some financial help – and he was able to get a cheap old utility vehicle to travel and live in. A friend put hand controls in it, and so he traveled around for awhile living in the vehicle. He had gradually begun to regain the use of his hands, arms and upper body, and in 1978 he went out on the desert and car-camped along the Colorado River to fast, meditate, and wonder.
It was there by that river, all of a sudden, for the first time in his life, he was able to write his own songs. Even though he had lost the use of his legs, he had gained something he had wanted for a long time.
Then he traveled here and there from the coast to the mountains trying this and that to try to fit in somewhere. An old girl friend (who was from "the lake" and he had known since they were 15 years old) took him in for a few months and helped him get a little more organized and helped him get a small disability pension. She also gave him a portable typewriter and encouraged him to write, and also develop the music for his songs.
Then he rented a little cabin near a remote little lake about a hundred miles north-west of his home town. It was affordable to him because it was off-season in the Winter, and he went through another long period of seclusion, fasting, meditation, more intense study, and singing and playing the guitar and working on his songs.
It was there, early in 1979, when through truly divine and rather miraculous guidance, he was shown certain passages from his mother's Bible that helped him begin to understand the most crucial and relevant prophecies of Isaiah and Jesus. And he began to understand why he was stricken and afflicted.
Almost immediately following that miracle it was accompanied by another, because, at the same time, he was given a clear, unmistakable sign from God which confirmed what he was being shown in the Bible. The very night he began to receive miraculous guidance to key prophecies in the Bible, he happened to glance out the window and saw a gigantic five-pointed star (with a single point up, two to the side and two down, like arms and legs, the symbol of man), and it was shimmering exceedingly brightly with all the colors of the rainbow.
It was so incredibly huge that at first he thought it must have been an immense man-made structure, perhaps on the top of the mountain or hanging from a blimp or something. It seemed to be sort of linear, sort of like when you draw a five-pointed star with a continuous line.
To his surprise, however, when he went outside to see it more clearly, he saw that it was actually a giant star in the sky and not supported by anything. It was a heavenly body. It was so immense that he didn’t believe it could possibly be a star, but it was twinkling just like the regular stars, and he could see that some of them were also shimmering with all the colors of the rainbow in the same way (as can be seen sometimes on very cold, clear nights).
He just watched it for about an hour, and it moved across the sky just like all the other stars. It was there the next night too, only a little smaller, and after a few more nights it had gradually diminished to the same size as all the other stars.
By the way, that star may be what has since been called "The Miracle Star Sign," which has appeared more recently, particularly since January 2009 (when he first made his songs available to hear on the Internet). It has appeared to many people all over the world — but they’ve seen it as smaller, in different forms, and in different colors.
Anyway, he has admitted that the 1979 miracles "went to my head," as was his bent, and he thought he was going to be a great guru with many devotees and gopis (women lovers). After all, since 1971 he had been drawn to and recognized more truth in esoteric and eastern spiritual teachings, which are not rigidly puritanical, are more reasonable and rational about sex, and more obviously and realistically speak of the Divine Reality.
But, of course, no one saw him as a guru. They only saw a man who had been "stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted," just as the prophet Isaiah foresaw. He was just a cripple in a wheelchair.
Nevertheless, his discoveries of relevant bible prophecies showed him not only why he was stricken and afflicted. He was shown how and why Judaic "Old Testament" scriptures in the Bible confirm that "God is not a man, nor a son of man," that "God lives in Light," that "God is Light," that "besides God there is no Savior," and that the son of man "is first rejected by his generation and suffers many things."
He learned why Jesus of Nazareth said he had to go away and be seen no more, but spoke of a coming son of man with the Spirit of truth. He learned why Jesus said: "God is greater than I," and to his disciples he said: "You have not heard God’s voice or seen God's shape at any time." All that and much more confirmed what he already knew, because God was not made in our image. We are all made in God's image, as children of the Eternal Divine Light-Energy Source of our existence, the primordial "Word" made flesh in all of us.
Going Northwest, Into Exile
A few months later in 1979 he moved from his home state to a place further North in the Pacific Northwest, and he went into a kind of exile. Fortunately, a good woman who had been his last lover prior to being stricken and afflicted took him in, loved him, and even married him. He was very fortunate, in that she is wise, good-hearted, loyal, and is usually understanding and forgiving.
He settle in, enjoying his new life. But not very long after he had arrived, he injured his left heel, which was badly wrenched, sprained and bruised. It was an accident that had occurred as he was leaving a business establishment. There was no wheelchair access so he had gotten up the stairs by getting out of the chair and sitting on the stairs, lifting the wheelchair up after him as he lifted himself up on each stair. However, on his way down he was a bit careless and fell, and during the fall his foot got caught in the space between the stairs, and his heel was badly wrenched. When he got home it was badly swollen and then bruised to a blue-black color. He fashioned a splint for it, to mobilize and protect it, and it took several weeks for it to heal enough to remove the splint.
For awhile, thanks to his small disability pension of $297 per month and her $400 per month wages for working on a horse ranch, he was able to work on getting stronger. More upper body strength began to come back, and he was able to crawl around in the garden, work more on his music, and study and write.
Unfortunately, he stopped working on his music in 1984 because his heart wasn’t in it any more. He began to detest how so many people (including his wife) were being treated by their employers, and he was incensed by what was happening because of what he calls Reaganism.
He saw that much of the progress that was made in the 1960s toward more freedom, equal rights and fairness was being reversed by right-wing hypocrites who claimed to cherish freedom and equality, and even claimed to be patriotic and religious, but were actually pushing us backward in ways that were neither patriotic or religious, and were causing Americans to be less free and less equal as their government became more unfair.
He saw the signs of the ominous things to come, and he watched in horror as the spirit of greed, self-interest and deception began to overwhelm and overpower the spirit of truth, love, peace, and freedom -- all under the guise of "restoring religious values and American pride."
He was amazed that most Americans could not see that the wool was being pulled over their eyes. Too many people were duped by all the flag waving, bible thumping and sword rattling, and they were completely fooled by those who perverted "patriotism" into hegemonic nationalism and appealed to the emotions, prejudices and egotism of proud but gullible people. And too many Americans began to think it was okay to be intolerant of anyone who had differing political and religious beliefs.
He could see what was happening, that bigotry was on the rise -- partisan political bigotry, religious bigotry, nationalistic bigotry, cultural bigotry, and even racial bigotry. That's why he put his guitar away and began to concentrate on getting his message down in writing to try to expose all the unfairness, bigotry and hypocrisy.
In 1984 he started writing articles, which he submitted to magazines, and he wrote his first book manuscript. He wrote under his own name, but he wrote the first manuscript as if he was informing the world of the existence of the man who fulfills prophecies, and as if it wasn’t him. He typed out the manuscript on a manual typewriter and titled it The Road From Babylon To New Jerusalem, subtitled A Call For the Peaceful and Sane Reformation of Religion and Government.
In the preface he announced that the messenger of God and the Spirit of truth comes not to fulfill the egocentric expectations of one religion or one race or one nation or culture, but to liberate and empower all peoples of the earth. And he submitted the manuscript to many publishers, but none of them were interested.
He expected rejection, but it still disappointed him because it had taken him four years after the miracles to even begin to understand and accept the responsibility of his mission. He was still often filled with self-doubt for long periods of time, and it took a long time for him to fully accept it.
In 1989 he had to have an operation to deal with a perianal absess, and later that year he had his first angioplasty operation to widen a vein and deal with his heart disease.
Then in 1990 he cut his hair and trimmed his beard (which were still long then) and he went to work in a state human services office. There he learned how to operate a computer and word-processing software. That’s when he began producing manuscripts using a computer and printer. That made writing and producing manuscripts much easier, and during the 1990s he submitted several manuscripts with different titles and under different pen names, hoping that one would catch the interest of a publisher. But all his work was rejected.
In spite of rejection, developing and improving his message boosted his confidence a bit, and that confidence was buoyed by the fact that a better income allowed him to eat better, wear better clothes, and drive a more dependable vehicle. And it allowed him to travel.
In 1992 he took a trip to his home state to visit his brothers and his step-mother, and during that visit he learned of the bad behavior of an aunt, the youngest of his father's four siblings, who had taken control of the family cabin at the lake. He was told how and why that the attitude and behavior of that aunt was negatively affecting his brothers and step-mother. So, when he returned home, he made a big mistake. He let his judgmental mentality as a prophet spill over into his private life. He ignored the fact that when it comes to family and loved ones, it is not always best to tell the truth to those who need to realize it, especially when it's not told in the spirit of real love, compassion and good will.
Motivated not by love or compassion but by self-righteousness and self-importance, he scolded and rebuked his aunt in a letter. He actually thought he was doing the righteous thing, but his method and approach were wrong, and the little voice in his head knew it and warned him. But even though he suspected that the offending aunt would be defensive and in denial, he didn’t care. He thought that she must be rebuked, so wrote and mailed the letter. He came to regret it, of course, and he later sent letters confessing he was wrong in being so strongly blunt in his rebuke. But he also said that even though he was sorry for that, he was not sorry for telling the truth as he knew it, and he said again that she should not treat his brothers so badly. So his apologies were ignored, and the offender has never forgiven him, and never apologized to his brothers. Instead, she has never stopped complaining and claiming that her “crazy” nephew was a terrible, malicious person.
However, dealing with a toxic member of his family that way was an isolated case, because most of the time he has been able to separate his role as writer-messenger-judge from his private and social life, which has been somewhat normal for the last 35 years.
As an old man now, he accepts that he has little tolerance for offenders who are arrogant, unapologetic, defiant, in denial, show no remorse whatsoever, and even lay blame on their victims. He believes that forgiveness should be given to a deserving contrite person who acknowledges their offenses, apologizes for them, and asks to be forgiven. For even though forgiving those who don't deserve forgiveness is good, and it may free the forgiver from resentment and anger, an unrepentant offender does not deserve forgiveness.
He himself has been an offender, and he has told his story just to give you examples of what a fool and jerk he has been on occasions. He felt duty bound to confess that during his lifetime, at one time or another, he has done many things of which he is ashamed — nothing that caused anyone physical harm or great loss, but did cause hurt feelings and resentment and broke confidences and contracts, which is why he is an ashamed, contrite, prodigal son who is still seeking redemption.
Delivering the Message, and Dealing With More Afflictions
Learning how to operate a computer and get on the Internet enabled him to be more effective in his writing. He began improving his manuscript and submitting them many publishers and many literary agents.
In 1994 he produced a manuscript titled The Son of Man Of Prophecy: A Realistic View of Judeo-Christian Prophecy. He submitted it to many literary agents and publishers, but was rejected.
In 1997 he had to undergo a septuple bypass open heart operation, and a month later he had to have an operation to have his gall bladder removed. Prior to that he had undergone another angioplasty operation to open a vein in his heart, and following that he developed congestive heart failure, a result of the open heart surgery.
In 1998 he submitted one titled What’s the World Really Coming To? – A Realistic View of Judeo-Christian Prophecy. In 1999 he changed the title to What IS the World Coming To? – Why the Religious Right Is Wrong, And Why There Will Be No “Second Coming” of The Christ, written under the pen name of Joseph J. Adamson. And in 2000 he submitted the manuscript titled Real Prophecy Unveiled: Why the Christ Will Not Come Again, And Why the Religious Right Is Wrong, again using the pen name Joseph J. Adamson.
He sent the 2000 manuscript to a large number of literary agents and finally found one who was interested. But the agent was also unsuccessful in finding a willing publisher. In fact, all publishers turned him down.
Finally, in 2002 at the age of 61 he learned that he could publish a blog on the Internet and self-publish his books, and between 2002 and 2004 he published five of them under a pen name, Joseph J. Adamson. (Adamson is for the "original Adam's" son Seth, who led men to call on the name of the Lord. The "J." is for James the brother of Jesus, and Joseph is for the father of Jesus, and for Jacob's son Joseph, who had a dream.)
Delivering the Message
While he was working for a state human services agency and learning how to operate a computer and get on the Internet, it enabled him to really get serious about his writing. So during most of his nights and weekends during the 1990s he improved his first manuscript and submitted it to many publishers and agents, and while one agent tried to help him, no publisher was interested. And then his hair and beard began to grow gray.
He was exhausted and feeling like a failure, but he realized he just needed a bit of rest.
(By the way, if you are interested, the book you should read is What IS the World Coming To? (published in 2004). His books published before that are: Real Prophecy Unveiled: Why the Christ Will Not Come Again, And Why the Christian Right Is Wrong (January 2002); More Observations and Suggestions: The Followup to Real Prophecy Unveiled (February 2002); and Getting From Babylon to New Jerusalem (2003).
A fifth book, his autobiography upon which this article is mostly based, is no longer in print at his request because he felt it was very premature. This article was gleaned from that, however, and this article also adds what he wrote in his life story article that he had published at his former sites (at realprophecyunveiled.netfirms.com, which he left to go to reformationcomingsoon.bravehost.com, which he shut down in 2011 because he thought all his work was in vain and for naught, and he felt like an utter failure. (One of many moments of losing faith and giving in to self-loathing.)
Fortunately, he did not give up, but then preserved, edited, revised and updated his work here, because the prophet Isaiah (in Isaiah 49:2-5) predicted that the son of man would feel his work was in vain and for naught, having been dismissed and rejected for so long, and Isaiah also wrote that the son of man would realize that even though and even when he feels like he is dying, he can realize that God is his strength.
His books reflect what he had learned in the 1970s, '80s, '90s, through 2004. But, this message here on the Internet reflects how he continued to learn much more about everything, much of which was reflected on his former web site. And now the basic summary of his message is reflected on the four layers of this cjcmp.org site.
Increasing Health Problems and Afflictions
In December 2008 he felt he was dying from congestive heart failure, which he had developed in 1997. His health was also rapidly declining because of COPD as well (though that was not diagnosed until later). He felt he didn’t have long to live, and he realized that his "first works," his songs, should be recorded while he still was able, and might be the best approach after all. So he tweaked and updated the lyrics a bit to reflect his current thinking, arranged and practiced his songs, and managed to record ten of them as a one-man band, even though it was very difficult.
After all, he had not sung or played the guitar in 26 years, and his worsening heart disease, congestive heart failure and lung problems (COPD) caused him to be short of breath and fatigued, and the arthritis in his hands and bursitis in his shoulders sometimes made it difficult and even impossible to play. Also, recording on a little portable 4-track tape recorder in his home, he had to be aware of the noise of dogs in the house or vehicles outside.
Still, after a couple of months of hard work on his good days, he was able to produce (and had to settle for) "first-take" recordings of ten of his most relevant songs, on which he sang with two-part vocal harmony, accompanying himself with 6 string and 12 string guitars, clarinet, and other instrument sounds (such as bass and drums) produced on an electric piano.
This fulfills prophecy not only as a writer, but as a singer of new songs.
"Son of man, my people hear your words, but they do not listen. With their mouths they express love, but their hearts are greedy for unjust gain. Indeed, to them you are nothing more than one who sings songs with a pleasant voice and plays an instrument well, for they hear your words but do not put them into practice. When all this comes true—and it surely will—then they will know that a prophet has been among them." – Ezekiel 33:31-33
(While Ezekiel too was a son of man, those words are relevant also to the life and death of the modern son of man.)
"Sing unto him a new song; play skillfully with a loud noise. For the word of the Lord is right; and all his works are done in truth." – David's Psalm 33:3-4
"You shall have a song, as in the night when a holy solemnity is kept; and gladness of heart, as when one goes with a pipe to come into the mountain of the Lord, to the mighty One." (Isaiah 30:29)
"Sing unto the Lord a new song." (Isaiah 42:10)
He still hoped that he would perhaps be healed enough to be able to produce better performances and recordings of his songs, and in April 2013 after having worse problems with his lungs he found out that he also suffers from Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD), which is why he couldn't sing any more in 2009.
Fortunately, inhaled lung medicines helped, and even though his throat and vocal chords have been damaged by chronic sinus infections and acid reflux and the inhaled medicine makes his voice hoarse, he was able to sing well enough to improve his recordings a bit. He even added instrumentation and produced better arrangements.
You can listen to the second attempt at recording his songs and see videos by clicking here, and you will notice that the voice quality is a bit different on several of the songs (his first recording attempts are here). That's because a few were recorded when he was very sick, which ironically enabled his voice to be a bit deeper, while in other songs his voice is hoarse because of inhaled medicine for COPD.
Now, even though he is still afraid he still has a lot to learn, still afraid the message isn’t good enough, still afraid that he has said too much or not enough, and still afraid that all his work has been in vain and for naught, he has gotten glimpses of understanding of the words of Solomon, who said that fear of God is the beginning of Wisdom.
That’s why he added a last verse to his song, All That Glitters, which states: "Now I love a woman called Wisdom. She’s what I need. She showed me how I should sow this seed. So I just sing my song, like a one man band, and know all that glitters is right here at hand."
He would love to focus on the beauty and the love in this world, thank God he can still see it, and be the change he wants to see in the world. Every time he sings his song, We Can Change Our World, he is reminded that this verse sometimes applies to him too: "We must give love before love comes back, And we cannot give to others what we lack. So take some time out to find your inner self. Then you won’t keep your soul waiting on a shelf."
That applies to him too, but like many human beings, he tends to think too much, he easily forgets to trust in God, and like Jacob he wrestles with God. He also wrestles with himself, because he knows his mission is to deliver the prophesied judgment, in spite of knowing that we should not judge our fellow man. He knows that as we judge, so we are judged, Thus he is torn, which adds to his suffering.
Only recently did he realize that doubts and fears can have a legitimate purpose, and he has begun to learn how to cope with all negative thoughts and feelings of depression. He has been to the depths, and it was because he was so utterly crushed, depressed and thinking he was a complete failure and fraud that he simply took down the message on his second former web site, What IS the World Coming To? Seriously. at reformationcomingsoon.bravehost.com. (And it is fortunate that the highlights of the message that were there were preserved so they could be edited and updated on this site.)
Even though he had gone through many periods of terrible doubt and fear, the last five years have probably been the worst, thinking and feeling like an utter failure, thinking and fearing that he was a fraud, and fully realizing he has been a fool and a jerk at times in his life. He thought, and still sometimes thinks, that such a miserable excuse for a man could not be someone humanity should listen to.
(Continued at The Story of the Modern Son of Man, Part 3.)